Card #1 represents the root of your insecurity.
You've drawn Five of Cups as the the root of your insecurity.
You've drawn this card upright which has a theme of Bereavement and shows up in concepts like loss, regret, living in past, let down, sadness, grief.
In what ways are these concepts generating a lot of noise in your head that's undermining you. Take a moment to think about how these kinds of thoughts are holding you back and keeping you from shining like the radiant person you are.